Charlie Fultz, left, with son Jakob. Photos courtesy of Charlie Fultz
In the past 10 years, mental health has come to the forefront of problems facing millions of Americans. Once a taboo issue, it has made it into mainstream media through recent celebrity deaths, such as Robin Williams and Chris Cornell of Soundgarden, and through the sports world, as many popular professional stars have come out to discuss the depression and anxiety issues they quietly faced in their careers.
In just the past five to 10 years, mental health issues have begun to be publicly acknowledged in the golf management world, as there are now seminars at the GCSAA Conference and Trade Show. There are also various online mediums focusing on mental well-being in our industry. Superintendent Paul MacCormack is well known as the “Mindful Superintendent.” He is a certified mindfulness mediation teacher and has begun a group that works with superintendents. It’s no longer a subject that people won’t address.
My journey to mental health started with a simple statement: I need help.
After a 13-year hiatus from being a golf course superintendent, I resurfaced as (initially) the golf course superintendent at Heritage Oaks Golf Course in Harrisonburg, Va. Within a few months, the general manager resigned, and I took on the dual role of general manager and golf course superintendent. It was a job I had coveted my entire career. I always felt I brought more to the table and could help with this underperforming golf course. In just four years, we turned the financial situation into a positive one, and the course today is doing well. But my own personal life began to take a toll on me, and in the early part of 2023, it all came crashing down.
Fultz, with son Lukas.
Through the first part of 2023, my life as I knew it was going to drastically change. All within this time frame:
My father was diagnosed with stage-4 prostate cancer.
One of my sons was facing a life-altering, recently diagnosed medical condition, while the other was facing a life-altering legal issue with life-changing consequences.
The foundations of my home life had begun crashing down.
Any one of those things would be enough to fill one’s plate, but all of them at the same time were soul crushing. I felt like every part of my life, save the golf course, had come crashing down around me, and I was unable to stop it. I was not equipped to handle it all, and I tried, albeit poorly, to compartmentalize each event on its own and try to handle it separately. I was failing miserably. After a few weeks of helplessly trying to cope, I concluded that I needed help.
I’m blessed with a very tight-knit group of friends, almost all of whom have been friends for well over 20 years. Some of them go back to my elementary school days. I was talking one night to one such close friend, whom I’ve known since my childhood, and she knew of the problems I was dealing with and how I was not handling any of it well. She told me about a local counselor she’d heard about and that several people she knew had spoken highly of the work they had done with them. I pondered it for a day or so and decided to call and make the initial appointment. I was nervous because not only was I stepping out of my comfort zone, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to face life and my head this way.
I must say, from Day One, the therapist I made the appointment with was amazing to work with and still is almost two years later. Sessions initially were two times a week, but as I worked through things, and I found a comfort zone we backed off to once. Not only did it help to get my feelings out about everything that had happened, but it was cathartic to have someone who was able to help me steer and navigate a course for a healthier being. The counselor said she wasn’t there to do the work for me but to help me do the work, and work was what we did. There were more tears than I could have imagined as I faced some childhood traumas, and dealing with them in turn helped me deal with and face what life forced me to deal with currently.
Here’s a look at the Nos. 2 and 18 holes at Heritage Oaks Golf Course in Harrisonburg, Va., where the author is GM and superintendent.
I began to understand what made me “me” and why I handled things the way I did. During this time, I also discovered “me” — what and who I am and am not. I rediscovered my family and our relationships, the dynamics and parameters of what make them work and the expectations with them as well. I’ve never shied away from hard work, but this was brutal work mentally. I leaned heavily on my circle of friends, and they were and have continued to be an amazing support group. There are a group of former and current superintendents who have been great professional and personal friends, and to a person they say they’ve seen the transformation I’ve gone through. I am blessed more than I know and probably deserve.
During this time, on the golf course we were going through one of the worst droughts in the area’s history, and yet a year later it’d be even worse. We ran out of water three times and had to rely on a submersible backup pump running at 50% capacity to survive. Yet the golf course was the one place that gave me peace. I worked more hours than I probably should have, but it was the one place outside of a sitting behind my drum kit that I felt comfortable. The stresses of the summer were not anywhere close to the stresses I felt at home, in my life and in my head. The golf course had one of the best years ever, and for me, it was the one place I could relax and not have to overthink things. I’ve always found a golf course to be a sanctuary for the mind and soul, and throughout this, it was no different.
Today, my father is in remission and just recently got a clean bill of health from his doctors. My oldest son faced and dealt with his legal issues, has found a good job and is now working on an internship and preparing himself for the life he knows he can have. He also continues to dabble with writing and making music, of which I’ve always been a fan. My youngest son has found a mix of medications that have helped him realize a normal life, and his future looks bright as he has just begun a work-study program for special needs adults. In the end, my marriage didn’t survive, and I don’t think it was supposed to, ultimately. No hard feelings, it just wasn’t meant to be, and I have accepted it.
The 16th hole at Heritage Oaks GC.
I’m still a work in progress, and I know it. I still attend timely sessions, as I now focus on work-life balance (shocker), relationships, life issues and how to navigate my own head through them. Sometimes it doesn’t hurt to have a neutral party there to help clear a path. That path can, at times, be daunting, but it is one that can be navigated.
Having been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, I also accepted that it was time to look at medication to help and have been using a combination anxiety/ADHD medication to help center me. Sometimes you really don’t know how ridiculous you used to be until you start taking something for it. That has helped me, too. Focus and relaxation are not bad things, and the medication has helped with both.
The realization that I needed help was the most important step I took to find my own well-being and to help me handle life a little better than I had been. We don’t hesitate in this business to reach out and ask for help (borrowing equipment, contacting a colleague for help with a disease, insect or turf issue and so on), but we often hesitate to help ourselves.
Maybe the time for someone to make that change is now — and you might have to ask for help to do it.
Charlie Fultz is a general manager and GCSAA Class A golf course superintendent at Heritage Oaks Golf Course in Harrisonburg, Va. He is a 19-year member of GCSAA.